Guest Post ~ Negative Nancy

21 Nov

Brooke and McKenzie have written todays guest post on friends and how different personalities have an impact on us. Read it and then head over to their blog because its jam-packed with fantastic posts about their mission to find Mr Right and the hijinks they get up to in the process.

I heart them, and I’m sure you will too.

Happy Monday :)

‘Belle xx

We are very excited to write a guest post for Tinkerbelle and although our blog is mainly about our dating and relationship mishaps, we are going to steer away from the opposite gender in this post and talk about platonic relationships. More specifically we want to share how important we think it is to maintain a positive attitude in life. After all, life is too short to waste it being miserable and trying to make others around you miserable as well, and the best memories we have are the good ones.

The Negative Nancy…

1.       Someone who commonly whines, complains, or looks at the bad side of things.

We have a friend who shall be nicknamed “Negative Nancy.” She has earned this nickname because by all definition of the word; she is a pessimist and views the glass as half empty all the time. There isn’t one day that goes by where we don’t hear from her whining or complaining about how every single thing in her life is unfair. She writes to ask how our day is but we feel that she does not even care for what answer we give because once she has your attention, she selfishly complains non-stop. She complains about everything from how much she hated her co-workers at her old job and how unhappy she is with her new job. She complains about any boyfriend she has had, her family and even daily routines like the coffee she is having and how she’s not enjoying it and how unhappy she is with her outfit choices. Because of her constant complaining, it has started to affect her daily life. Her constant Negative Nancy attitude has pushed away all of her friends and ruined her relationships. It seems that even when you try to show her some positivity she gets frustrated as if she’s happier being gloomy and wants you to sulk with her.

We had a girl’s vacation for a week to an all-inclusive resort with great food, beautiful weather, unlimited drinks at a 24 hour bar, one of which was a swim-up bar. What more could we want. The four of us were celebrating 10 years of friendship. Before going on the trip, 3 of us discussed how we were going to try to ignore Negative Nancy as much as we possibly could because by knowing her for 10 years we realized that a week with her was bound to create some issues.

It didn’t even take more than a day for Negative Nancy’s dark clouds to start looming over us. We were travelling overnight so that we would be there early in the morning an extra day of paradise.  As soon as we got in we enjoyed drinks outside, the ocean and the pools but as dinner rolled around Negative Nancy said she was feeling cranky because she was tired, to not let her gloom ruin our first day she went to bed early as we enjoyed dinner, made many new friends and went out to the clubs outside the resort. The next day when we told her about how eventful our first night was she was very upset that we did this without her. Apparently our world should’ve stopped because she was grumpy.

The negativity continued when we introduced her to the new friends we made as throughout the week she constantly criticized them and was anti-social. Out of the seven days we were there, we all can agree that we had fun with her on one day, the rest were made painful in one way or another.

There was days she was being “grumpy,” days she was being anti-social and days where she was disagreeing with the rest of us just because she was in a bad mood. We started to get more and more agitated with one another and whenever she wasn’t around was the times we were truly enjoying being on vacation. Overall, neither one of us would wish to ever go on a vacation or anything like that with her again.

That day we realized that having such a negative and selfish source in our lives would eventually start to turn us into negative and very anxious people. We then decided that we wanted to give her an intervention but where would we start? What would we say?

An idea I had was to ask her to write or talk about one positive thing a day. Or as a Christmas present I have joked about giving her a jar filled with positive things and what she should be thankful for.  We would love to give her an intervention. Bottling up so much negativity and anger cannot be good for anybody’s health emotionally and physically. As well by acting this way she is pushing away all the people who care about her as she selfishly refuses to get help and gets angry if it is offered.

What do you guys think, is an intervention necessary? What would you do if this was your friend? 

Brooke and Mckenzie

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16 Responses to “Guest Post ~ Negative Nancy”

  1. nicole November 21, 2011 at 7:55 am #

    yes, suggest to grumpy gills that she write about one positive thing daily. in my life after bulimia, i strive to do one KIND thing daily because it helps me to be a better, nicer person when i’d otherwise be a raging bitch. good luck with your friend! i hope she can turn her frown upside down. x

  2. underwhelmer November 21, 2011 at 10:19 am #

    Nobody likes a “Debbie Downer.” Oh, and “yes” on the intervention thing, by the way. Great post. :)

  3. LittleMissVix November 21, 2011 at 11:35 am #

    Oh no thumbs down to that! I think you need to have a word or maybe ask her what she wants to do as you felt she didn’t enjoy the trip as much as you did?!

  4. mrsbongle November 21, 2011 at 12:21 pm #

    I’m sorry to come across as mean but I think you just need to dump her as a friend and then she can be miserable and spiteful all by herself! She’s not just unhappy, she’s intent on making the rest of you unhappy too. She is, as you have said yourself, totally selfish, so why would you want to be friends with her? Kick the moaning bitch to the kerb and get on with the rest of your (mostly) happy life!

    • twindaddy November 21, 2011 at 2:39 pm #

      I agree. An intervention isn’t going to change her personality. Just leave her behind to wallow in her sadness, bitchiness, and negativity.

  5. bougiehippieBougieHippie November 21, 2011 at 1:24 pm #

    I’m with MrsBongle lose her like fat a$$. She’s too much of a hassle I knew a person who was like that and we confronted her and she continued so we just stop hanging with her. Its that simple.

  6. sandylikeabeach November 21, 2011 at 1:24 pm #

    I’m not sure why you invited her along on the trip since you know how she is. As far as your future friendship goes, I’d limit time with her but be honest as to the reason why. Hard as it is to believe, some people don’t realize how negative they are. Tell her being around her brings you down and since you see the world as a bright, happy adventure, you’d rather spend time with others of a like mind. The above suggestion of asking her to do one kind thing a day or write down one positive thing a day is a good first step for her. Be warned, that your attempts to change her attitude may not be well received, but if you have to cut her out of your life, at least she will know the true reason.

  7. Sunshine November 21, 2011 at 2:23 pm #

    The Christmas gift filled with positive things to be thankful for sounds like a great gift! :)

  8. Tori Nelson November 21, 2011 at 2:25 pm #

    Oh yuck. I was rolling my eyes just reading about her. I make a point not to hang out with really negative folks. I’m always a little worried their grump might be contagious, and I rather like being happy rather than miserable :)

  9. pharphelonus November 21, 2011 at 2:35 pm #

    I would tell her, without holding back, that her negativity is too much, and encourage her to go to a dementia wing and volunteer, or to a an old folks home and to see how many people there are who are sad and lonely, and to maybe realize that she has it good. Then I would halt conversations that turn sour, stop reading emails that turned sour and, if that fails, tell her to take her tone elsewhere. It’s kind of you to want to help make her see how she is, but don’t let her drag you down.

  10. nelle November 21, 2011 at 9:57 pm #

    Yes, but gently. Insecurity at work, and the danger is you could feed that machine. I’d give it a go by accentuating the positives you all like, and point out she does not need to whine to get attention (the old bad attention is better than none at all thing.)

    Love up her good qualities and get her to chill.

  11. gojulesgo November 21, 2011 at 10:59 pm #

    Great post! I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately. This may be an unpopular response, but at a certain point sometimes it’s best to separate yourself from the negative forces in your life as much as possible (especially if you’ve already tried to turn things around on multiple occasions).

  12. philosophermouseofthehedge November 22, 2011 at 1:31 am #

    Sounds really needy – is it in her mind or is her life that hard? Is she so into the negative she doesn’t realize her attitude is driving people away? It would be a kindness to try and redirect her thoughts gently as another said…changing the subject, the Christmas jar ( have her help make one for someone else instead of giving her one?) Volunteer work is good…But if all fails, maybe not good to hang out with negative energy too much.

  13. BROOKEandMCKENZIE November 22, 2011 at 5:59 am #

    Thanks so much everybody. All your advice is greatly appreciated. It’s hard to be harsh because we have known her for so long but as I have distanced myself away from her I have found that my own life is less stressful. I keep conversations to a minimum and have been ignoring every negative thing she says.

    Although it seems harsh cutting negative people out really does seem to be the best way. As we talked about in another post of ours, it’s impossible to change people and because she is so negative, telling her in a harsh way will only add fuel to the fire and make her lash out more.

    Thanks so much for reading our guest post and your wonderful comments, we will take all these to heart and keep you posted with how it goes :)

    Brooke and Mckenzie

  14. elroyjones November 24, 2011 at 1:01 am #

    It doesn’t seem harsh at all to eliminate perpetually unhappy people from your lives. Friendship is symbiotic by definition, as friends we give to one another and we take from each other- reciprocal laughter and support. Gradual withdrawal is the answer, slip away slowly.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Negative Nancy tries “The Secret” (Spoiler Alert: Doesn’t Work) « The Camel Life - January 5, 2012

    [...] if you’re looking for more background, Brooke and McKenzie wrote a great guest post on Negative Nancy friends on Tinkerbelle’s blog a while back- check it out! Ladies, I [...]

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