My Onesie War

9 Dec

The onesie is an item of clothing that really bothers me. Maybe it’s because I am simply not fashionable enough to understand why you would want to leave the house in what is essentially an adult babygro, but I just don’t get it.

The Positives.

I suppose there are positives and negatives to everything, so I’m sure it’s really nice to go out and not have to worry about the wind lifting up your skirt or your top popping up and your kidneys getting cold.

I literally cannot think of anything else positive to say about them. Unless of course you have a small child and your dream in life is to go out matching, in which case this craze was invented for you!

The Negatives

Other than you are in a giant babygro, right? Sure, we have covered that one. The thing that always gets me is people who wear onesies that actually look like dresses. When going to the loo you essentially have to take all your clothes off to actually get to that point, as its all one piece. The ones with straps are OK, you could wear a bra, but the strapless ones take you right down to your undies in one fell swoop.  Knowing my luck, this would be when I fell over, knocked myself out cold and had to be rescued, for all to see. So the strappy ones would be preferable, no? Actually, the answer is no. Its ok for all the svelte little minxes with neat handful boobs, but for anyone with anything more than a B cup, it puts a strain on these, as they tend to have buttons. You inevitably end up looking like you are trying to squeeze yourself into something three sizes too small, with bad consequences. The other sizing issue with the strappy ones is that if you choose one that fits the figure and in which the straps don’t fall off your shoulders, you ALWAYS end up with a camel toe. Which is a horrific concern to ladies up and down the country.

( Image courtesy of blog.neonmonster.com. Seems that men are in on it too!)

I was brought up to be frugal with electricity and prevent myself from any shocking bills in adulthood, so for this reason I wait toil my washing bin is full to put a load on. That way the machine is full and my Mum doesn’t panic about my bank balance come pay day, so we all end up happier. The onesie would throw this into disrepute though. You would technically have fewer clothes as you would be wearing one garment instead of two or three, so the bin would take longer to fill and actually when you put the wash on you would have nothing else to wear. Except pyjamas, and I guess no one would notice as you look like you are wearing them out anyway…

How do you feel about the onesie? Girls, do you rock them? Guys, do you love or hate them on girls?

34 Responses to “My Onesie War”

  1. prenin December 9, 2011 at 10:42 am #

    Hmmm… Pretty, but not practical – sounds like fashion all over…

    The guy with the bunny ears looks funny though! LoL!!!

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

  2. wobsy December 9, 2011 at 10:48 am #

    The models in your photo would look great whatever they wore. Others need to be more discerning! Onesie doesn’t suit everyone.

  3. Imogen December 9, 2011 at 10:58 am #

    Well I’m extremely anti-onesies as they make me think of the Rugrats, but I didn’t consider my flowery ‘playsuit’ to be a onesie until I read your blog, although i did hear myself thinking, ‘ahh yes i remember that inconvieniant time i had to take off my playsuit to wee and ergo strip off in a tiny toilet cubicle – not to mention the extreme inconvieniance that time i reaaaallly needed a wee but it took me atleast four minutes to unzip my playsuit… Very impractical) I think there’s a huge difference between pretty little playsuits (that like high heels warant the extra discomfort) unlike the pyjama style onesies that seem to be everywhere at the moment (I even saw a woman wearing a tiger onesie at the TRAIN STATION the other day: what?!) But I do think kigus (http://www.kigu.co.uk/) are pretty fun – although as replacement pyjamas rather than going out clothes… For me onesies of a certain calliber are acceptable, so long as no camels get their toes out!

  4. Dazzle Rebel December 9, 2011 at 11:00 am #

    Call me sad but I can’t wait until denim dungarees come back into fashion without the connection to Dexy’s Midnight Runners. I’ve not owner a pair since I was about 6 yes six and have been wanting them to come into fashion since I can remember!

  5. visitingmissouri December 9, 2011 at 11:10 am #

    I don’t know what I think of the onesie. I really have a hard time even thinking about whether I’ve seen one in real life. Doesn’t sound too comfortable though, but I’ve got that feeling about more types of clothing, especially for women.

  6. artjen1971 December 9, 2011 at 11:53 am #

    Hilarious! I’m glad that you covered the going to the bathroom part–besides not being very flattering on 99% of the population, the vision of being in a public restroom totally naked with my clothes piled on the floor makes me shudder! :)

  7. becomingcliche December 9, 2011 at 1:07 pm #

    This may be my favorite post that you have ever done.

  8. nelle December 9, 2011 at 1:38 pm #

    And we all fit into them as the models do, sheesh. Pass. Designers should be required by law to wear what they design. Now that would be interesting.

  9. J.C.V. December 9, 2011 at 2:25 pm #

    Easy on the onesie! They are great as swimsuit coverups and very cozy in the house. Sometimes they are not pratical, but over all, I am a onesie girl. Cute post!

  10. egills December 9, 2011 at 3:11 pm #

    Both my teenage step daughters wear not only the onesie pj’s but also going out onesies… I have to keep my eyes averted from the camel toe :-(

    So glad they didn’t find the above Kigu website before I’d bought their Christmas presents or I feel we may have started another war!

  11. madtante December 9, 2011 at 4:44 pm #

    I don’t think they look good BUT I own one (got it super-cheap off a clearance rack — it’s meant to go over a bikini). I’ve never worn it because even though it cost $3, the whole toilet-use thing is an issue. Now, I’m out $3 (which isn’t much but it was a waste). I suppose I could use it to dust with :(

  12. Sandi Ormsby December 9, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

    Hahah, I don’t know why- out of all your wonderful posts- this moved me to hit the LIKE button. (I don’t ‘like’ lightly- hmmm- post there?) anyway, I was moved to click. Yes, camel toe could be a possibility with the gal in the front of the photo. and how would you bend over to retrieve a pen that dropped to the ground? pop out front…bottom…good grief BOTH? That’s what would happen to yours truly. Ooopsie. Sorry ’bout that.

    I don’t think I’ve worn a “onesie” since the late 1970’s when I was a 7/8 year old. That’s when they are cute, at that age. As an adult, you need to look like one of those models and not move…just stand there.

  13. Sandi Ormsby December 9, 2011 at 5:04 pm #

    P.S. the photo of that dude with the swearter reminds me of the movie A Christmas Story where Ralphie gets the one piece bunny-rabbit sleeper and his dad says

    “He looks ridiculous. Do you like wearing that? Take that thing off.” meanwhile the mom thinks it’s the cutest thing ever. :)

  14. alternative eating December 9, 2011 at 5:42 pm #

    yes, they look pretty on the models, and on the dolls in windows. But when I on the other hand put one one…..Not so much. Pretty, not practical. Seen a lot of people out on the town on those. Might work for some people but not for me….

  15. Buttons&YarnOHMY December 9, 2011 at 6:18 pm #

    I don’t think you could pay me to wear a “onesie” .. the only people who should wear them are babies. I consider myself a fashionista and love new styles but I really dont’ think this is going to stick, models may be seen wearing them but i can’t see the average fashionable woman wearing them. And honestly a bit trampy … i mean short shorts AND sleevless too much skin to be respectable. And not sexy at all.

  16. Carola December 9, 2011 at 6:49 pm #

    I guess another possitive of onesies is that you don’t have to waste time coordinating your outfit. You are absolutely right about them not being convenient for big chested girls, good strapless bras bigger than a b cup are extremely hard to come by.

  17. barkinginthedark December 9, 2011 at 10:31 pm #

    twosies are way more practical. continue…

  18. gojulesgo December 9, 2011 at 11:14 pm #

    Ha! I used to feel the exact same way, then about a year ago, I saw this gorgeous, curvy woman (I thought women with curves could NEVER pull these onesie things off) in NYC wearing an all-black one (I think it had short sleeves) and she looked A.Ma.Zing. Ever since then I’ve looked at onesies with new eyes!

  19. elroyjones December 10, 2011 at 1:26 am #

    I’ve had a couple of the dress looking onesies and they weren’t too bad. The one that looked the best was the most inconvenient to wear, long zipper down the back that I couldn’t really access without a lot of effort. I put a lot of thought into the logistics of the ladies’ room when I wore it.

  20. elroyjones December 10, 2011 at 1:27 am #

    Oh, most important, they had actual sleeves so nothing could escape.

  21. kristina@beancakes ♠ December 10, 2011 at 2:38 am #

    thanks for stopping by ~ i really appreciate your support! you know, the onesie trend ~ i don’t hate it, but i’m not so in love either…
    xo ~ kristina

  22. Chris Sheridan December 10, 2011 at 2:47 am #

    I’m sure that practicality is just about the last thing that fashion designers take into account when they design their creations for women. As far as how onesies look to me as a man, as others have mentioned, the models pictured here make then look attractive. Wear what makes you look and feel good about yourself, and don’t wear what doesn’t.

  23. frenchtippedwanderlust December 10, 2011 at 3:02 am #

    I agree with you. I have I think one onesie.. but like you said they are very hard to fit.. if they fit up top.. they give you a camel toe.. or you have to get one so big its not flattering at all. They are just REALLY hard to get right, and should be executed with caution. All in all, if you want something cute thats all one piece.. I would pick a dress over a onesie ANY day =)

  24. observingthescene December 10, 2011 at 4:00 am #

    Expressing my opinion specifically as a man, I think that only a pretty young lady could get away with wearing one of these, but on the examples shown, they are quite fetching! I cannot address the issues dealing with laundering, or of either donning or doffing them. I can say for certain that it creates significant problem for me, as an older man, figuring out where I can look without appearing to be leering, except for totally turning my back on the young lady who happens to be wearing one.

  25. Paprika Furstenburg December 10, 2011 at 6:28 pm #

    Haven’t worn won since I was a baby and I’m not planning on wearing one again.

  26. jannatwrites December 11, 2011 at 6:58 am #

    If I looked like the ladies in your picture, I’d love them. Since I don’t, I hate them ;)

    Really, I don’t hate them, but I wouldn’t wear one!

  27. Sandra Bell Kirchman December 11, 2011 at 7:00 am #

    I agree with the guy who said those models looked nice in their onesies. I especially liked the one in the aqua (or is it turquoise?) denim. And I enjoy seeing women (not men!) wearing them who have the figure for it.

    As for me, I have only ever worn one onesie in my life and I hated it. It was a denim coverall shorts with crossed straps at the back and a bib at the front. It was not figure flattering, and you pretty much had to wear a shirt under it if you didn’t want to give free boob peep shows. Maybe that makes it a twosie? Anyhow, it was a frustrating 15 minutes when I had to go to the bathroom. And you know how dirty those floors can be.

    When I got the onesie back on, after a gargantuan struggle, I shuddered until I got home and could peel it off and have a shower. (Personal experience tells me there is no way on earth to prevent that garment from at least touching the floor.)

  28. twoblackdoggies December 11, 2011 at 10:54 am #

    Apart from some cute PJs that my Mum bought me when I was at uni, the only onesie I ever wore was terry towelling and I was about 8 years old. Good looking models can wear anything and get away with it, but onesies definitely aren’t for everyone.

  29. Janie Jones December 11, 2011 at 6:08 pm #

    If adult fashion designers are going to attempt to get us to wear what basically amounts to a giant sized infant onsie, they ought to do us the favor of giving us the benefits an infant onsie can offer: crotch snaps.

  30. lostnchina December 12, 2011 at 4:30 am #

    Are people still wearing these in the dead of winter?

  31. TTV December 13, 2011 at 4:07 am #

    Absolutely hate them. I have a picture of me wearing a purple one when I was in the 6th or 7th grade. I’m 43 now! Why does every awful style come back around? Going to the bathroom was a pain in the rear! May as well go to the bathroom naked. Okay if your at home. In a public place, not so good.

  32. underwhelmer December 13, 2011 at 8:25 pm #

    Growing up in Florida, it was hard to pull of the onesie without looking like an escaped mental patient.

  33. underwhelmer December 13, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

    *off*

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